Have you ever noticed that you can find an article on how to improve the sexual intimacy of your marriage in almost every women’s magazine. Why would there be so many articles on this topic if everything was fine in the world of heterosexual marriage? Obviously, enough people are having problems with the emotional and sexual aspects of their marriages to warrant all of these articles. We are given tips on how to romance our men, how to achieve greater sexual intimacy, how to get more pleasure out of sex and on and on. But to my knowledge, no where has an article ever said, “Maybe the problem is that you’re choosing from the wrong gender.”
Just the other day the actress Meredith Baxter came out. She had been through three heterosexual marriages before she figured out that she was a lesbian at 55. And she is not alone. Many women go through multiple marriages trying to ‘get it right’ but as the saying goes, “if you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”
If I showed you three colors: red, blue and yellow, and asked what your favorite color was, you’d have to choose from a limited palate without ever having seen purple, orange, magenta, etc. Up until recently, marriage was like that. Girls were told that they were going to marry someone like their father. They were never told they might be more attracted to someone like their mother. And so, they also chose from a limited selection.